When I began to learn Mandarin online with the help of an online Chinese teacher, I expected that most challenges would come from grammar, tones, and vocabulary. Yet, what surprised me most was how often cultural differences—not language itself—created misunderstandings. Language and culture are inseparable, and even when I could understand the words being spoken, I often misread the situation entirely.
One of the earliest examples was sneezing in class. Back home, it is almost automatic for someone to say “Bless you,” followed by a polite “thank you.” In China, however, this exchange simply didn’t happen. I sneezed, no one said a word, and I awkwardly muttered “谢谢” under my breath, which drew puzzled looks. It took me weeks to understand that in Chinese culture, sneezing is just a sneeze; it doesn’t call for a ritualized response.
Dining customs brought another lesson. Growing up, I was used to everyone ordering their own dish, but in China, meals are communal. The first time I was invited to a dinner, I didn’t touch the shared plates much, thinking I should be polite and leave food for others. My hosts, however, worried I was still hungry. I learned quickly that eating heartily, and accepting food placed directly in your bowl by others, is not rude but a sign of warmth and inclusion.
Even the small matter of saying “thank you” needed adjustment. While I had been taught to use “谢谢” often, I later realized that within close relationships—between family members or very close friends—it can sound oddly formal. Gratitude is understood through actions and tone rather than constant repetition of the phrase.
New words like “内卷” (nèijuǎn, “involution”) or “摸鱼” (mōyú, “slacking at work”) say a lot about the social environment and are difficult to grasp without cultural context. Understanding such terms became easier for me when later guided by teachers. Language schools like GoEast Mandarin, for instance, often focus on the real-life situations in which words really occur, and hoq. It helps with linguistic knowledge and also cultural understanding.
Looking back, I realize my earliest cultural missteps were not failures but stepping stones. They reminded me that learning Mandarin is more than memorizing tones and characters—it is about understanding unspoken rules, gestures, and habits. These experiences, while awkward at first, made my journey more memorable and helped me grow into a more attentive learner and a more thoughtful guest in another culture.
